Kate Maple

This was my second pregnancy and I really wanted to try for a more positive experience than last time. My first time I tore badly and did not get any sleep in hospital, my milk took ages to come through and generally I felt disorientated and shocked by the whole process. It took a while to get over it. This time I was determined to be more in control, be more focussed and to try my best to avoid another nasty tear. It was for these reasons that I considered an independent midwife. I had in mind that I would like to get to know my midwife during my pregnancy, to spend a bit of time with her, after all, she was going to be helping me through one of the most important processes, that of bringing a new life into the world. I wanted to retain a bit of the magic of childbirth, it is after all an amazing thing and, for me, hospitals have a way of making it clinical and unemotional. A midwife that knew me well and knew my needs, both physical and emotional would I hoped, help me through the birth and in the following weeks too. I was not against the idea of giving birth in hospital at all but I did want to have more support than the NHS could offer me, especially after the birth when you sometimes most need it. My husband and I talked about the idea of a home birth throughout the pregnancy and decided to go for it because it felt like we would be in charge if we had it at home and we would have the best help of two experienced midwives by our side. We felt that we could make our home a cosy, secure place to bring a child into the world in a relaxed and familiar environment with people working with us as individuals, not to standard protocols and procedures. I placed my trust in the natural process of childbirth, in myself and in Joy whom I got to know well in the preceding months.

Joy was perfect for us. She was calm and very experienced, always listened carefully to what we had to say and to any worries we might have and came back to us with lots of research, information and advice. She believed in my ability to give birth at home and was positive throughout. During the birth she was calm and very supportive and I listened and responded to her when she advised me what to do or not do. We managed to get the birth pool inflated in time and put our music on that we had chosen. The birth pool relieved my back pain and it felt to me like no time at all that I was at the final stages of pushing the baby out. The birth went better than I could ever have hoped and although I did tear, it was not as bad as last time and I did not have to go to hospital at all. We all sat about eating toast and drinking tea afterwards and it was great to rest in my own bedroom afterwards. Joy came for six weeks afterwards, daily to begin with and it was great to have that support, especially when you are trying to breastfeed and are hormonal and tired.

An independent midwife can make all the difference to a birth experience, it can transform it even. I wholeheartedly recommend using an independent midwife, getting the right support and the right amount of support is vital with something as precious and important as giving birth. Joy was the right midwife for us and I cannot recommend her highly enough.

Joy, thank you so much for everything you have done for us, you have given us so much by being our midwife. You gave us the confidence to have Cameron at home and in a pool and it made all the difference. Your support and belief in me has been invaluable and all the CDs, books, food and presents have been gratefully received! It has been lovely to have someone I know and trust to be there at the birth and before and afterwards too. You are a true wise woman and I hope that more and more people get lucky enough to choose you as their midwife.