My Birth Story by JB

The continuity of having an independent midwife during both the pregnancy and labour is the best thing you could ever ask for.

Don’t get me wrong, the NHS provide an excellent midwifery service, but only if there’s a complication!

We’d originally planned for a home birth, but with the way things turned out, we were just glad we had Joy by our side for the journey ahead.

It all started with my waters breaking at home, shortly after leaving our local pub which we’d spent the evening enjoying a lovely meal.

It wasn’t until my midwife Joy came out and checked my blood pressure that the concern started.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I discovered my ankles and feet had completely ballooned. As did my hands! The reason for this was pre-eclampsia. Luckily though, I only had a moderate form as I had no other side affects. But unfortunately my blood pressure started misbehaving!!

We’d arrived at the maternity unit at about midnight on a Friday night only to be told that we’d picked the busiest night. Hence very short staffed!! Luckily the conversation flowed for several hours as nothing much was happening! I was hooked up to the CTG machine which kept a record of both my blood pressure and my baby’s heart rate. After a few shift changes of staff and a few internal examinations it was agreed that I was to try and encourage our baby that the outside world was the place to be!!

Firstly I tried a Prostin tablet which was inserted carefully to encourage my cervix to dilate. After that, the next step would be Syntocinon which meant being hooked up to a drip. It was slowly released to hopefully bring on my contractions in a steady form. After several hours of endless cups of tea and going to the loo, things were slowly taking affect!

By this stage – because there were obviously complications, the midwifery team were fantastic! Plenty of staff on tap! I still felt more at ease knowing Joy was by our side.

To have someone you completely trust to assist was very encouraging.

It was already apparent from the moment we got to the hospital that Joy had no jurisdiction. So bearing in mind that we arrived at midnight on a Friday night, when the staff were VERY busy, you can imagine our position……very frustrating!!!

To be honest, having Joy there was reassuring, especially when doctors ask you questions when you’re in no fit state to know what’s going on. It’s good to have someone who knows you to help with all the answers.

By now things were really starting to happen! The problem was – things were happening to fast!

My loving partner T was by my side the whole time! What must have been going through his head seeing the state I was in is only known to him.

They say dads always feel very useless during labour – but to be honest seeing their partners in absolute agony must hurt them so much – knowing they can’t help with the pain!

The advantage of being on the drip is that it slowly releases the magic potion that encourages contractions to happen. That’s all very well if you are dilating at the same time! When I’d started the syntocinon I was only 1.5cm dilated. As the contractions were getting stronger (when I say stronger – I mean hurting like hell!) I realised that both the tens machine and entonox weren’t really helping as I’d liked. Trying to breathe the gas in as well as hysterically crying wasn’t the best combination to cope with! To make matters worse, the CTG machine was having problems picking up my baby’s heart rate and when it did, it was very low.

After Joy came back in from her much needed catnap (bearing in mind we’d all been on the go for the past 18 hours) she could tell from the state I was in, that when I asked for an epidural I really needed it!!

At last I could breathe and take note of what was going on!

My baby was showing signs of distress and my cervix was not dilating, so after a mass discussion of what to advise next, it was agreed that the only option of delivering my baby safely was by caesarean section. Obviously all my original plans of naturally giving birth went completely out of the window! By this stage I just didn’t care. T and I just wanted what was right for both our baby and me!

Having an epidural was obviously the best thing to do, bearing in mind I didn’t know whether I was coming or going with the pain! But nobody really tells you of the weird side effects! SHIVERS! Now when I say shivers, I don’t mean (my, what a chilly morning) I mean uncontrollable hysterical shaking! I’ve never been so damn cold in my entire life! Of course the ironic thing was – my temperature was up! So in order to operate, they had to bring my temperature down. So from one minute of begging for more blankets, the next thing I knew, the blankets were being taken off. To make matters worse, I had to have a cold wet towel placed on my head! That was not funny bearing in mind it took 30 minutes to achieve the correct temperature.

It’s amazing how gossiping about the latest scandal in all the soaps can take your mind off being really cold!

At about 7.30pm it was agreed that T and Joy were to accompany me into theatre. Seeing T in those lovely blue hospital clothes really made me smile. Unfortunately, by the time we got into theatre, it was explained that because the top up of the epidural would take a while to kick in, there was a high risk of my baby not surviving. So without a second thought I was given a general anaesthetic. The last thing I remember was the anaesthetist telling me to breathe through a face mask!

The main reason I wasn’t dilating was because Euan had slightly kinked his head to one side! To make matters worse, not only was his heart rate dropping, he was delivered blue! This means lifeless and unable to breathe! Apparently when Euan was born he was worked on for a short while to help him breathe. Unfortunately, whilst enjoying life on the inside, Euan had picked up an infection which meant he had to have a course of antibiotics through a cannula in his arm.

As I slowly came around, I realised it was the strangest experience I’d ever encountered! Firstly I noticed that I was waking up in a position I’d not been able to sleep in for the past 9 months, and secondly not only was I in a strange position, but my bump had shrunk!!

As I opened my eyes I was faced with my lovely T telling me that we had a baby boy! I was on such a different planet, not only did I keep repeating myself “we’ve got a boy”, but I couldn’t get used to the fact that I’d completely lost my memory for the past hour! I’d not had a general anaesthetic before, so the whole experience was totally new to me!

After about 1.5 hours of our son being born, I was wheeled back into the labour room where all the fun had started!

After quite a restless night (especially for T as he was sleeping in a chair) it was Sunday, a brand new day of becoming parents!

Although Euan was born at 8.38 on Saturday evening, I didn’t get to see my son until Sunday lunchtime! It was through one thing and another, me being too ill to move and Euan having too many tubes attached to him. It felt like a lifetime until I met him. Luckily T got to hold him after an hour of his birth!

The reason for this was mainly because of the antibiotics Euan was having. To make matters worse, not only was it awful having to deal with a cannula in his arm, but we also had to endure Euan having a Lumbar Puncture. That hour was one of the longest we’d ever gone through. The word Meningitis hadn’t even entered our heads, so to be told that they needed to perform a Lumbar Puncture to rule it out, was just unbelievable!

Fortunately the procedure went well with the end result being clear! That was the best news we could’ve asked for.

To be perfectly honest, it still really hurts knowing I didn’t have that initial bond with my son! I really missed out on holding him immediately after he was born! I suppose in hindsight, knowing the condition Euan was in during delivery, I’m quite glad I didn’t see him like that. It would’ve been really hard to deal with!

Just over a week had passed and I was eventually allowed home to enjoy (and adjust to) parenthood!

Unfortunately my blood pressure didn’t come down after the birth. I was prescribed a drug which should have brought it down but it didn’t. Joy monitored my blood pressure daily but it seemed to be rising to dangerous levels just two days after my discharge. When I arrived back in hospital my blood pressure wasn’t too bad and the doctor wanted to discharge me until Joy insisted they take it again. They admitted me because it was dangerously high. A couple of days later and on a new medication I was at last discharged home to enjoy my family. My blood pressure was monitored at home and I was able to stop all medication after 4 weeks.

The moral of this story is, always expect the unexpected! You never know what lies ahead! In an ideal world, my birth plan would’ve been amazing. A completely natural homebirth with T and Joy by my side encouraging me to push our baby into the world!

In retrospect I’m glad we ended up in hospital with all the help that was there. If it wasn’t for Joy and the services she offered, I don’t think Euan would be here with us today!

Hiring an independent midwife was the best thing we could’ve done!

And with that, we say THANK YOU!!